Author Archive
Stories written by Cory Hunt

Top 10 (Or So) Reasons You Know You’re a Nerd

By Cory Hunt, SacMidtown.com It’s ok to have nerdy interests, but some people take it too far. For example, I have this friend who was at the new Harry Potter movie on its opening day.  She is a 30-year-old lawyer, dressed as Harry down to the scarf and glasses, and actually took the time to […]

The Birthday Girl

By Cory Hunt, SacMidtown.com Oh my God, you guys!  I cannot believe that my birthday is coming up! Like, it’s almost already here! I know it’s a couple of weeks away, but we should totally get the girls together and you can all buy me dinner to celebrate.  It will be so fun!  LOL! I […]

Intervention: The Trix Rabbit

By Cory Hunt, SacMidtown.com Dear Trix Rabbit, We don’t talk about it very much, but you’re like my younger sibling. There’s no way that I can repay you for teaching me to dressup like Girl Rabbit to best Elmer.  Your disguise expertise saved me from getting shot more times than I can count.  I’ve always […]

My Phone Tells You How Important I Am

By Cory Hunt, SacMidtown.com This is probably like the best smartphone out there. Look, but don’t touch! There’s a reason this thing is in a holster; it’s dangerous. Do you realize how much time this holster saves me? It’s at least a quarter of a second every time I use it, which adds up to […]

Time for Kindergarten!

By Cory Hunt, SacMidtown.com Hello Junior, your parents have asked me to help prepare me for your transition into kindergarten, so that’s exactly what I’m here to do. First thing, you currently live in a fantasy world. Your parents tell you that you’re special, but you are not. For example, your mom tells me that […]

I’m So Excited!!

By Cory Hunt, SacMidtown.com Girls, what is up with using exclamation points at the end of every sentence? I don’t get it. “Hope to see you there!” or “Sounds really fun!” don’t need exclamation points every single time you say them.  You do not need to exclaim every sentence in every email.  Exclamation points are […]

Dogs for Vick

By Cory Hunt, SacMidtown.com There’s been a lot of talk lately about how Mike Vick is rehabilitated and is some sort of animal rights champion. He even wants a dog … as a pet, not to kill or fight anything like that.  In all honesty, I’ve become somewhat of a Vick fan, even after his […]

Mario’s New Year’s Resolutions

By Cory Hunt, SacMidtown.com 1)   Stop hanging out with girls who are constantly “getting kidnapped” for attention. 2)   Donkey Kong has caused far more damage behind the wheel than his cousin ever did climbing buildings and knocking down planes.  Never let DK drive on Rainbow Road again. 3)   I never thought there was a worse […]

10 Things You Didn’t Know About Santa’s Workshop

By Cory Hunt, SacMidtown.com 1)   Santa hates anything resembling a union, so elves aren’t allowed to join the Lollipop Guild. 2)   The elves eat almost exclusively reindeer meat.  Supposedly, Blitzen tasted the best. 3)   The elves aren’t actually dwarves; they have that Gary Coleman thing where they’re short because they’re malnourished.  Interestingly enough, they still […]

Of Course I’m not Picking up Dog Poop

By Cory Hunt, SacMidtown.com Sparky, time for a walk! I can see you’ve really got to take a dump, but I want to make sure you don’t crap anywhere near my house, so I’m just going to drag you along while you’re trying to squat.  It’s really a win-win, because all this dragging eliminates the […]

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